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Dating As A Big Girl...
-Ciara
“You a big fine sistah! Have to spend a pretty penny if I take you out, huh? I know you can cook. We could just meet at your place and you could fill me up on some of that good cooking you feeding yourself. How ‘bout it?”
“Oh I don’t know!” I say with a fake laugh as I grab the coffee cup with my name on it and head to my spot in the back. Why did I give that pick up line the time of day? Now he’ll probably come over here. I’ll just slip my ear bugs in, face the corner and hope he gets the picture.
You know, since when did it become acceptable to approach a woman like that? Women all over say how hard it is to find a decent guy. Well, a size 4 chick ain’t been through nothing until she tries to find a decent guy with a little extra cushion for the pushing if you know what I mean. I don’t know which is worse. Getting picked on back in the day about it or the sly remarks from the fellas now, but man does it get old.
This week, specifically, has been rough.
Just last night I went to a bar with a friend. She’s what you would call thick and the guys flock to her wherever we go. They’re a little slower to flock to her bigger friend when she’s around. But on this particular night a cute guy and his cute friend approached us. They made small talk and bought us a few drinks. I won’t lie; I let a little hope slip in. The cute friend then leaned sideways on his stool and gave me a good look up and down and said, “Well, you have a beautiful face.” I have to massage my temples just thinking about it. We curvier girls have all heard that from somebody. I answered him with, “Oh. So just my face is appealing to you?” He tried to explain, but I was over it.
And that ain’t it. I was at the gym Tuesday morning and Michael was there. We kind of have a hey and bye eye flirt type of thing going on. Well I was doing my thing on the treadmill to the beat of “Like A G6”. when Michael showed up in front of me with his mouth moving and I jerked my ear buds out only to hear him say, “Once you get some of that weight off of you I’d actually take you out. You’ll look real good.” And he walked off. The hell? I haven’t smiled at him or even made eye contact since.
Then the dude at the gas station. Lord how could I forget Mr. Crusty. Ashiest hands I have ever seen! But that’s beside the point. This fool had the nerve to come up behind me and say, “I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like with a big girl. Want to experiment?” Experiment what? My size does not make me some kind of lab animal.
Wait. I need to get it together. Sitting here whining. I like to think of myself as a confident and beautiful curvy woman. But we all have our days right? Please, tell me you can relate?
Who the hell is this sitting down at MY table?
“Sorry to interrupt. I’m Justin. I’ve been noticing you come here a lot. I was wondering if I could buy you your next coffee.”
Well, ladies. There’s still hope out there I suppose.
“Oh I don’t know!” I say with a fake laugh as I grab the coffee cup with my name on it and head to my spot in the back. Why did I give that pick up line the time of day? Now he’ll probably come over here. I’ll just slip my ear bugs in, face the corner and hope he gets the picture.
You know, since when did it become acceptable to approach a woman like that? Women all over say how hard it is to find a decent guy. Well, a size 4 chick ain’t been through nothing until she tries to find a decent guy with a little extra cushion for the pushing if you know what I mean. I don’t know which is worse. Getting picked on back in the day about it or the sly remarks from the fellas now, but man does it get old.
This week, specifically, has been rough.
Just last night I went to a bar with a friend. She’s what you would call thick and the guys flock to her wherever we go. They’re a little slower to flock to her bigger friend when she’s around. But on this particular night a cute guy and his cute friend approached us. They made small talk and bought us a few drinks. I won’t lie; I let a little hope slip in. The cute friend then leaned sideways on his stool and gave me a good look up and down and said, “Well, you have a beautiful face.” I have to massage my temples just thinking about it. We curvier girls have all heard that from somebody. I answered him with, “Oh. So just my face is appealing to you?” He tried to explain, but I was over it.
And that ain’t it. I was at the gym Tuesday morning and Michael was there. We kind of have a hey and bye eye flirt type of thing going on. Well I was doing my thing on the treadmill to the beat of “Like A G6”. when Michael showed up in front of me with his mouth moving and I jerked my ear buds out only to hear him say, “Once you get some of that weight off of you I’d actually take you out. You’ll look real good.” And he walked off. The hell? I haven’t smiled at him or even made eye contact since.
Then the dude at the gas station. Lord how could I forget Mr. Crusty. Ashiest hands I have ever seen! But that’s beside the point. This fool had the nerve to come up behind me and say, “I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like with a big girl. Want to experiment?” Experiment what? My size does not make me some kind of lab animal.
Wait. I need to get it together. Sitting here whining. I like to think of myself as a confident and beautiful curvy woman. But we all have our days right? Please, tell me you can relate?
Who the hell is this sitting down at MY table?
“Sorry to interrupt. I’m Justin. I’ve been noticing you come here a lot. I was wondering if I could buy you your next coffee.”
Well, ladies. There’s still hope out there I suppose.
Curvy Girl with a Booty
October 2011
“Aye! I bet you can’t make that thang clap!”
“Man you know she can do that. I hear it clapping from here! I’m trying to see if I can build my house on that foundation!”
Keep walking steady. Do not make eye contact. Breathe. You’re almost to the car. Slide in easy. Shut the door easy so there is no trace of anger.
I crank up my car, pull out of my spot, and drive towards the exit. I pass the two cat calling idiots and hear a muffled, “Stuck up whore!” thrown at my vehicle. I floor the gas and turn up Mary J.
You have to ignore it. They want your attention even if it’s angry attention. Giving a dude acting like that the middle finger gives him a challenge and I don’t want a challenge. I just want to go to the mall and shop without being verbally molested! I want to go to the grocery store and not be stalked from entrance, aisle, to check out. Hell! I want to go to church and not have someone feeling me up during fellowship.
I am what people these days call “thick”. Some say I have curves in all the right places. I have even been told I “have body like hell.” But to tell you the truth this body is from hell in some circumstances. Fresh out of the lust department if we want to be honest.
My friend will hush me if she even smells a complaint. She swears being a big girl hurts you in the dating department. At least once a week she says, “Jade. Men love you! Everywhere we go they want you.” Truth is they want my body. At least she can tell which ones are sincere about liking her.
Last weekend we went out to a local lounge. I will admit guys were lined up to talk to me while only a few stopped by to chat her up. But to me those few talking to her looked genuine. The ones talking to me were licking their lips and rubbing their hands together like a T-Bone had been set in front of them. A few even had the nerve to lean sideways to get a better view at my hip region. Only one of my suitors kept eye contact and spoke like he had some sense. I agreed to have dinner with him the next evening.
I met him at the restaurant and he was a complete gentlemen. As we waited on our food the conversation went well. He was intelligent and had me giggling. I became suspicious however when he asked for the bill before I had even completed two bites. I gave him a questioning look and this fool had the nerve to say, “Girl I know you anxious as me. I been dreaming about tapping on that round thang since last night.”
Needless to say I was appalled as the waitress boxed my food up for me. When we got outside I started walking in the opposite direction of him. When he realized I wasn’t heading toward his car he became belligerent yelling, “Hey! I paid for all that booty! You ain’t about to eat up that plate with nothing in return hoe!” Thankfully a police officer decided to handle him as I made my way to my car.
As I sink further into my car seat with Mary J. wailing and thinking about that night and all the other instances I can’t help, but to wonder, “Where the hell are all the good men?!”
“Man you know she can do that. I hear it clapping from here! I’m trying to see if I can build my house on that foundation!”
Keep walking steady. Do not make eye contact. Breathe. You’re almost to the car. Slide in easy. Shut the door easy so there is no trace of anger.
I crank up my car, pull out of my spot, and drive towards the exit. I pass the two cat calling idiots and hear a muffled, “Stuck up whore!” thrown at my vehicle. I floor the gas and turn up Mary J.
You have to ignore it. They want your attention even if it’s angry attention. Giving a dude acting like that the middle finger gives him a challenge and I don’t want a challenge. I just want to go to the mall and shop without being verbally molested! I want to go to the grocery store and not be stalked from entrance, aisle, to check out. Hell! I want to go to church and not have someone feeling me up during fellowship.
I am what people these days call “thick”. Some say I have curves in all the right places. I have even been told I “have body like hell.” But to tell you the truth this body is from hell in some circumstances. Fresh out of the lust department if we want to be honest.
My friend will hush me if she even smells a complaint. She swears being a big girl hurts you in the dating department. At least once a week she says, “Jade. Men love you! Everywhere we go they want you.” Truth is they want my body. At least she can tell which ones are sincere about liking her.
Last weekend we went out to a local lounge. I will admit guys were lined up to talk to me while only a few stopped by to chat her up. But to me those few talking to her looked genuine. The ones talking to me were licking their lips and rubbing their hands together like a T-Bone had been set in front of them. A few even had the nerve to lean sideways to get a better view at my hip region. Only one of my suitors kept eye contact and spoke like he had some sense. I agreed to have dinner with him the next evening.
I met him at the restaurant and he was a complete gentlemen. As we waited on our food the conversation went well. He was intelligent and had me giggling. I became suspicious however when he asked for the bill before I had even completed two bites. I gave him a questioning look and this fool had the nerve to say, “Girl I know you anxious as me. I been dreaming about tapping on that round thang since last night.”
Needless to say I was appalled as the waitress boxed my food up for me. When we got outside I started walking in the opposite direction of him. When he realized I wasn’t heading toward his car he became belligerent yelling, “Hey! I paid for all that booty! You ain’t about to eat up that plate with nothing in return hoe!” Thankfully a police officer decided to handle him as I made my way to my car.
As I sink further into my car seat with Mary J. wailing and thinking about that night and all the other instances I can’t help, but to wonder, “Where the hell are all the good men?!”